Frost: “A poem begins with a lump in the throat”

Birth of Poem (For Robert Frost & Vassar Miller) by Barbara Helvey Hughes  
 
I’ve had that lump lodged in my throat
that lump I could not share.
I’ve known that lump ~ a torment, sure
that lump which laid me bare.
 
The lump which shuddered in the dark
when battered thoughts abide:
the lump, which choked away my breath
and jeopardized my pride.
 
For I know a Secret.
 
I’ve known that lump, relentless lump:
the one which gripped my tongue,
with words held hostage by that lump
I watched my Judas hung.
The pendulum of Judas swung
upon her* cheek of night,
where ragged Warriors summoned winds
and fought the Holy Fight.
 
But nothing could persuade me, now
to write about that time
when Forces of my Brightest Light
exposed my darkest crime.
 
Some things are best borne silently.
Some knowns are best forgot.
Some things are gifted just in time
to thicken up our plot.
 
Regardless, we all know them well ~
those lumps we cannot write or tell.
 
We all know A Secret.
 
 
 
*Judas by Vassar Miller 

8-5-2018/7-21-2020
 
 
 Painting: Judas’ Conscience Nikolaj Nikolajewitsch Ge, c. 1891